It’s one burger a month for the Trophy Husband. This better be good I silently implore Mandy the bartender at “The Two Parrots” on the corner of Granville and Davie Streets in downtown Vancouver. My “Beef Canuck Burger” arrives nearly hidden under a side of fries that look not too greasy and show good colour. I hate pale fries. The charred champion’s nestled on a multi-grain bun. I don’t enjoy chewing on white buns. His big thick meaty patty hides beneath a glistening blanket of melted Canadian cheddar. Two strips of crispy bacon snuggle topside on my precious. I see some dill pickle and a generous - maybe too generous - slice of uncooked red onion, two pieces of real tomato and a leaf of fresh curly lettuce.
This Canuck is too big for my Trophy H mouth. I rip into his side as he drips his warm juice down the back of my hand. My second attack goes for his top. I bite down hard enough to rip a hunk of this warm flesh and chew. My teeth discover grilled mushrooms with their perfect, nipple-like texture. A dollop of flavoured mayo squirts around my tongue. I douse the fries with black pepper, cider vinegar and lovely tears of yellow hot dog mustard. No salt. Never ketchup! I can easily leave a lot of the fries, but all this tasty Canuck is going home in my gut.
This is my once a month burger fling. The bun could have been a bit more toasted.
A five star burger? Not quite, but better than most bar burgers. The fries get three stars only. But fries don’t really count to a trophy H. It’s the meat. Good meat between excellent bits of buns. The rest is not important in my once a monthly.
“The four star burger and a glass of house red, taxes and Mandy’s tip comes in at $20.
Let me know where to try next month’s burger. I think I will be in Hong Kong or Manila.
Stay tuned for next week’s update, my silent reader.
