One of my favorite trophy H holiday pastimes is to wander along a beach letting my mind drift off to sea while the sounds of the waves relaxes and soothes my city mind. Boracay is my place for getting away. I was spending a wonderful afternoon strolling along the coast minding my own business when I felt something like a light kiss on my ankle. It turned out to be a slight nudge from a black banded water snake. What this young devil was doing on the beach I didn’t know but I was glad it was too small to get its fangs into me. “Very poisonous,” grinned two sailors who sat watching. Fortunately I did not scream and or faint but just stepped away and admired the serpent in its camouflaged splendor.
The snake was only about a foot in length. It was clearly a baby. Its parents were likely a meter long. This sea krait has a flattened tail like a fin that enables them to swim. They are most comfortable underwater where they can stay submerged for 15 minutes but this hansom specimen was exploring the sandy shore of rocks and sea weed washed ashore on this lonely section of beach on the island of Boracay in the Philippines. I had seen a large cousin of this creature the first and only time I went snorkeling around the island some years ago. I am a fan of snakes but prefer them to be behind glass in a sealed terrarium or made into a nice belt.
I watched this young fellow slither over the volcanic rocks at the water’s edge. I managed to get out my video camera and take a short film to show my snow shoveling friends back in Canada. The two sailors kept up telling snake stories. In the olden days I might have grabbed a long stick and smashed the serpent into paste but I happily let this beauty continue on its slinky way. I did not mention the scene to MrD and MsH, my travel companions who would likely have insisted we leave the island immediately for the city.
When I returned to Manila I showed the video to my staff who oohed and awed at my luck to see the most poisonous snake in the Philippines. They explained it is worse than a cobra bite because there is no anti venom. You have 8 hours to live before the paralysis in the toxic venom stills your heart. Not a fun way for a trophy H to spend a holiday.

Time flies when I am too.

It is great to be back home in Manila. The last week or so has found me sitting at airports awaiting long, long overdue flights or finally on board, stretched out, with my feet up and a glass of champs, earphones on and flipping channels trying to forget just how long the flights from Vancouver to Sydney, Australia really are in actual hours. The added comfort of having my sister along for the ride made it all bearable but it has not been easy.
First Cathay Pacific’s flight from Vancouver to Hong Kong which originates in NYC was delayed from 2 am until 5am because of snow storms on the east coast. That meant that after the 12 hour flight across the Pacific we would miss our connecting flight to Manila. They transferred us to an afternoon flight 6 hours after our scheduled takeoff time. Fortunately the Cathay lounge has shower facilities so we could freshen up a bit. If you have to get stuck in an airport lounge then Cathay Pacific’s Hong Kong Wing Lounge is as good a place as any.
MsH and I finally made it home to my home in Manila to rest for the night but it was back to the airport the next day for another flight back to Hong Kong with connections to Sydney, Australia. This time the flights were on time but when we arrived in Sydney at our hotel about 9:30 am the following morning. Our hotel room was not ready until 1:30 and I had my first appointment at 2pm. Trophy H was not in a very energetic mood and had to dig deep for any signs of my good humour.
The rest of the time spent in Sydney was as wonderful as always. I introduced Sis to old friends and we both made a couple of new ones. In between alternating rain showers and heat waves we patted the kangaroos and got our photo with Maggie the Koala at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo. MsH and I supped, sipped and shopped some of Sydney’s sensational offerings. Busy friends invited us to fabulous picnics, delicious dinners at their houses and guided tours of the sites of Sydney most tourists would not get to experience.
All too soon our short visit down under finished and we flew back to Manila to meet up with MrD who arrived from Vancouver after a stay in Tokyo. Now we can relax at home and put our tired feet up in the heavy heat. Tuesday we three will be flying off again to my favourite Island of Boracay that readers remember from my previous blogs.

A trophy H's guide to Aussie slang for MsH.

I can speak a little trophy H Australian slang thanks to spending several debauched afternoons down under with one or three of our lovable Aussie neighbours. In less than two weeks time, the day before the Vancouver Winter Olympics begin, I will make tracks down under to Sydney Australia with my older sister MsH. (I am hoping she will meet an Aussie sheep farming surfer type bloke, fall in love, get married and move to the other side of the planet away from what's left of her dysfunctional family.) Sis is a saint, lives in the frozen Canadian mid north taking care of very old people inside an old folk’s factory. Sis wants to pet a roo before she karks it. We are flying on Cathay Pacific, not Qantas, because business class is really so much better on CX. I will have about 24 air hours, to teach MsH Australian. My teacher was a lairy wharfie with an Irish accent. I met him in a seedy bar on Oxford Street in Sydney, Australia. He was all smiles and reddish blond hair. He began to fire away that he hadn’t got a zack, but was easy. I offered him my xxxx in exchange for a language lesson. He sat down all of his 6’8” workman’s blond self beside me for a yabbber, told me I looked a tall poppy, a dag and a galah to boot all lairs and not some naff, lamb brained, Joe Bloggs sitting at Maccas, giving mates an earbashing, over some barney with the boss. “Onya!”, he grinned and leaning down low towards me, begged me for a pash.
I thanked him for his kind observances and reluctantly declined his offer, but I surely didn’t rack off about it.
MsH is packing and preparing for our CX veg out and ear bashings. I never fill up my suitcase early. You, silent reader, know that the trophy H packs well. Tune in next week for more travel ideas about packing and fashionable updates. I’ll have three
trophy H helpful hints on how not to appear to be nouveau trash when you fly business or first class. I will also explain when and where and with whom to perform properly, the upgrade eyelashes flutter... Have a good week.



. Aussie Slang Phrases from “A” to “Z”

A over T verb:- to fall over, from "arse over tits".Barney noun:- an argument or fight cark it verb:- to die. dag adjective:- bits of manure that stick to the long wool around a sheep's bottom forming small dangling balls. Also a term for a funny person, nerd, goof, loser. In this respect it can have either an endearing or disparaging meaning, although is usually used for a likable fellow. Earbashing noun:- to talk to, or be talked to, for a long time. Generally implies a reprimand. fire away verb:- used to tell someone to begin speaking, usually to begin speaking their mind. Galah adjective:- an endearing term for a fool or silly person. Also, and from, a particularly noisy parrot coloured Pink and Grey. have a burl, have a crack, have a go verb:- to attempt to do something considered a little difficult. I'm easy adjective:- not worried, not concerned, or has no preference to the outcome of a choice. Joe Bloggs noun:- the average person in the street. Although the term is male, it is non-specific and therefor signifies a person of either sex. kark it verb:- to die or cease operation. Lair noun:- a flashily dressed young man, or a lout. Lairy adjective:- flashy, particularly appearance. lamb-brained adjective:- some one who is stupid or impractical. Macca's noun:- McDonald's make tracks verb:- to leave, depart or head off. Naff adjective:- useless, low quality, ridiculous. Onya misc:- an expression of encouragement, short for good on you. Pash noun:- a long and enthusiastic kiss. QANTAS noun:- Australia's national air carrier. QANTAS is an acronym for Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Ltd. rack off misc:- go away, used when very angry with someone tall poppy noun:- a successful person or achiever who, as a result, is the target of jealousy and grudging remarks. up a gum tree noun:- confused, in a quandary about a problem. veg out verb:- to relax and think of, er, nothing. Waffle noun:- nonsense wharfie noun:- a dockside worker. XXXX noun:- Four X, the brand name for a popular Queensland beer. yabber verb:- to talk too much zack noun:- a Sixpence. Pre decimal currency used before Feb 1966. The term is still used today, but to indicate that someone is broke. "I haven't got a zack".