It's burger time.

OK I have good news and bad news about this month’s burger. You, my silent reader, will remember my blog about a month ago when I reviewed my once a month burger fix. I gave Vancouver’s “The Two Parrots” four out of five stars for a tasty slab of the red stuff.
Well, as you know, I only allow myself one burger a month, so here is the good news. I have discovered the best burger in Vancouver. The bad news is I am not going to tell you where you can find it. If I do that the restaurant might become just too popular if my fans find out I eat there. It’s only a small ‘brassiere’ on Davie Street. I want to be sure to always get a table. I don’t like to wait on tables. That’s what a waiter does. Did that. Done that. My therapist helps me forget all about it.
About a week ago I stopped to read their menu posted outside their kitchen window. (I actually stopped to watch them cook but pretended to read the menu.) I saw ‘Burger’ and my once a month burger alarm went off. I read about white cheddar, bacon and truffle aioli and my heart rate went up with anticipation.
So I convinced MrD I should take him there so he could buy me lunch. We went at an early hour to get seated before the rush and were greeted by a very helpful and equally charming Megan. She welcomed us and updated us on the specials of the day. The lobster bisque with spot prawns set off my taste bud alerts and at only 6 loonies but I was a trophy husband on a mission and that was to eat my monthly burger. I begged Megan to bring me one forthwith and put me out of my craving misery.
MrD went for the moules et frites because he can speak French.
Megan soon enough returned with generous pots of frites for MrD and fries for moi. I know I said I can’t find a decent French fry in Vancouver but I promise I will no longer say that. The fries at this place, that I am not going to mention, are nearly as good as my own. Close enough to have made me want to eat them all.
Now it’s on to the real deal. The burger was actually better than my own because I did not have to do the work that went into this perfect big bite of burger bliss. The soft bun was toasted. The generous meat patty was grilled perfectly to my taste. On top of that was some truffle aioli hidden under bacon so tender, but crisp at the same time. Working my way up this mountain of meat joy were some of the best deep fried onions that ever slipped by my taste buds. Just under the top of the bun I found a tasteful garnish of some fresh salad greens.
Served on the side were tiny ramekins of house made mayonnaise and ketchup. When was the last time you ordered a burger and it came with ketchup the chef made? I hate ketchup. I never eat it. You know that, my silent reader, from a previous blog. No longer true. This tomato treat had just a hint of anise and was not too sweet like our pal the red muck in a bottle. Perfect ketchup with those fries but the burger was good to go as it was. And I ate the whole thing. I won’t bother you with all the details of how juicy and fabulous this five star burger tasted but I don’t imagine I will look elsewhere again next month if I am in Vancouver for my next burger fix. I will just return to Megan and this nameless small brassiere on Davie Street in Vancouver.

Father's Day Suggestions.

Who is your MrD? Who’s your daddy? Big D Day is only a week away. That means only 168 more shopping hours before you get to give your own special Daddy that extra fabulous something. Let’s all make more of an effort this year to show that someone we care about that they are practically as important as you are yourself.
Here are a few of my Trophy H tips to help you, my silent reader, to make your special someone so happy he might even put you back in his will.
Go big, go bling is my word on the fashion news stand this summer. Outfit your man from head to toe in comfort without sacrificing gorgeous style. I suggest a French burka with mosquito netting in a tasteful black and bling contrast. For that out doors man of the house, my button camouflage hunting jacket. Sulphur is the new black. Buy Daddy anything in this hot summer colour and stand back because Daddy’s going to be on fire. Giving Daddy socks for Father’s Day is usually a sign that you have no imagination, or money, or both. But with just a lot of money and my imagination you too can have the ultimate gift this season. Try my simple new Trophy H sock redesign idea at home. It even works on those grey work socks from Canadian Tire like you gave him last year for F Day and for Christmas and his birthday. You, my silent reader, have only one choice for socks this holiday. “Neil’s Treholefree H” socks. Go for it. Show the big boss just how much you care.
If it is going to be just socks again this year for Pappy, please jazz up the offer a little, with a surprise hidden in the toe. It depends on your budget, but you can hide a treat like a chocolate, or an orange, or the keys to a new Porsche to perk up any man’s day.
How about purchasing the big guy season tickets to the opera or hockey if he’s one of those? This year, how about giving your own special Daddy a new thong or even one of your old ones if you don’t have the big bucks? Of course, then you might have to throw in a gift certificate at a waxing salon for a Brazilian and/or anal bleach, but, “Hey its Daddy”. A new thong for the summer BBQ season might not suit every father, but the daddies it would suit, would be worth the shop.
If you are going for salon gift certificates then a coupon for a facial is something I am sure any Dad can use. I mean which would your Pop rather have, a scalp treatment and pedicure or one more boring gift certificate from Home Hardware?
Or go out of your way to make reservations at an expensive dining establishment like Tim Horton’s or even the Old Spaghetti Factory instead of the lunch counter at Costco. It’s really up to you how you chose to celebrate and pamper the man who gave you everything.
I trust these simple Trophy H hints will help make your shopping easier this week. My final word on Father’s Day gifts is this, my silent reader. Don’t go out and buy Daddy a cute pet like a puppy. Save that for Thanksgiving.
For about 10 years now I have invited my Father out for lunch on Father’s Day to talk about the old days to share memories of growing up together; the good, bad and the ugly like all “boys and their dads” relationships. The jealous tug to win “Mother’s” attention might have gotten in our way. Who had the bigger womb experience on that ride? 15 minutes for him according to Maw. Nine months and 4 days of labour for Sonny boy.
Dad always prayed I’d someday stop pirouetting and join the hockey team. That never happened. I never learned how to fix the tractor. I wouldn’t know where to look to even find the oil let alone change it. I could never operate the chain saw although I grew adapt at arranging the course saw dust into Zen gardens. We agreed to disagree on almost everything. We were far too much alike. A portrait of my father sits in my office in Asia along with candid shots of some of my other relatives. Everyone who sees the hand tinted exposure thinks it’s me. It’s hot. Boys and their Dad’s. We are just special. In the past 10 years on Father’s Day the only thing missing has been my Father. Dad died all those years ago. 10 or so years of Father’s Day socks he has missed. Ten or so years of early morning phone calls asking about the weather or who has died and how the crops are doing. It’s a bit easier each new Father’s Day. It’s just not been any simpler.

Today's Trophy H Pasta.

I feel its best not to get carried away with too many flavours when creating a decent, quick pasta sauce, unless, of course, it’s a Mexican mole sauce which requires about 45 ingredients.
Today’s pasta I used penne. My sauce I made from bacon, smoked salmon, black olives and a pesto cream. I wanted a creamy sauce to smother inside and around those perfect tubes of joy.
The plate of pasta heaven I garnished with some baby fresh oregano leaves and crumbled goat cheese, not the usual Parmesan.
I say, my silent reader, keep it simple and watch them lick their plates.
If you are lucky enough to live near some organic markets you might try this elk pasta treat. I found fresh elk sausage with huckleberries and also some elk pepperoni. I used these two main ingredients as the star for this orcheitto pasta paired with still more of my craving for wild morel mushrooms. I added some green peas and sweet red peppers for some colour and added texture. A good swirl of olive oil and some freshly grated Parmasean finshes off the dish.

Some Trophy H thoughts for today from my desk to yours, my silent reader.

We are all affected by the recent recession and we must be prepared for a few cutbacks.
Even MrD and me,myself and I, the Trophy H, are not above making some major changes in our everyday lifestyle, if it’s for the good of society.
I have already cutback on maids.
I no longer have a maid cleaning our condo 5 mornings a week.
Now she comes only once a week.
She still must do the same work.
I don’t put my Thursday, Porches Carrera 4 through the car wash. That is another thing the maid gets to do.
Cutbacks?
Last Sunday I took clients out for dinner at the biggest hotel here in Vancouver. None of us ordered the appetizers to go with our martinis.
We even ordered bottles of the house wine to go with the plats du jour.
I noticed the over worked and under paid staff at the hotel had also suffered a few cutbacks.
So my service was cutback, a bit.
So their tip was cutback, a lot.
I recently shopped at the local organic farmer’s market and bought regular olive oil and not the extra virgin pressed between the thighs of young Greek gods.
I cut back on a full wheel of French Brie cheese.
A half a wheel does not taste the same as a full wheel.
But I can learn to live with cutbacks.
MrD and I flew business class and not first class home from Asia the second last trip.
I have reduced my botox injections by 10 %.
I have not had my natural blond hair roots touched up in a noticeable amount of time.
I do not shop for shoes before 2 pm. on Mondays.
MrD only allows me to shop at Holt's on days that end in “Y”
See we can all make a difference.
Keep a stiff upper lip and don’t be hesitant to make sacrifices my silent reader.