Sunday, June 13, 2010
Father's Day Suggestions.
Who is your MrD? Who’s your daddy? Big D Day is only a week away. That means only 168 more shopping hours before you get to give your own special Daddy that extra fabulous something. Let’s all make more of an effort this year to show that someone we care about that they are practically as important as you are yourself.
Here are a few of my Trophy H tips to help you, my silent reader, to make your special someone so happy he might even put you back in his will.
Go big, go bling is my word on the fashion news stand this summer. Outfit your man from head to toe in comfort without sacrificing gorgeous style. I suggest a French burka with mosquito netting in a tasteful black and bling contrast. For that out doors man of the house, my button camouflage hunting jacket. Sulphur is the new black. Buy Daddy anything in this hot summer colour and stand back because Daddy’s going to be on fire. Giving Daddy socks for Father’s Day is usually a sign that you have no imagination, or money, or both. But with just a lot of money and my imagination you too can have the ultimate gift this season. Try my simple new Trophy H sock redesign idea at home. It even works on those grey work socks from Canadian Tire like you gave him last year for F Day and for Christmas and his birthday. You, my silent reader, have only one choice for socks this holiday. “Neil’s Treholefree H” socks. Go for it. Show the big boss just how much you care.
If it is going to be just socks again this year for Pappy, please jazz up the offer a little, with a surprise hidden in the toe. It depends on your budget, but you can hide a treat like a chocolate, or an orange, or the keys to a new Porsche to perk up any man’s day.
How about purchasing the big guy season tickets to the opera or hockey if he’s one of those? This year, how about giving your own special Daddy a new thong or even one of your old ones if you don’t have the big bucks? Of course, then you might have to throw in a gift certificate at a waxing salon for a Brazilian and/or anal bleach, but, “Hey its Daddy”. A new thong for the summer BBQ season might not suit every father, but the daddies it would suit, would be worth the shop.
If you are going for salon gift certificates then a coupon for a facial is something I am sure any Dad can use. I mean which would your Pop rather have, a scalp treatment and pedicure or one more boring gift certificate from Home Hardware?
Or go out of your way to make reservations at an expensive dining establishment like Tim Horton’s or even the Old Spaghetti Factory instead of the lunch counter at Costco. It’s really up to you how you chose to celebrate and pamper the man who gave you everything.
I trust these simple Trophy H hints will help make your shopping easier this week. My final word on Father’s Day gifts is this, my silent reader. Don’t go out and buy Daddy a cute pet like a puppy. Save that for Thanksgiving.
For about 10 years now I have invited my Father out for lunch on Father’s Day to talk about the old days to share memories of growing up together; the good, bad and the ugly like all “boys and their dads” relationships. The jealous tug to win “Mother’s” attention might have gotten in our way. Who had the bigger womb experience on that ride? 15 minutes for him according to Maw. Nine months and 4 days of labour for Sonny boy.
Dad always prayed I’d someday stop pirouetting and join the hockey team. That never happened. I never learned how to fix the tractor. I wouldn’t know where to look to even find the oil let alone change it. I could never operate the chain saw although I grew adapt at arranging the course saw dust into Zen gardens. We agreed to disagree on almost everything. We were far too much alike. A portrait of my father sits in my office in Asia along with candid shots of some of my other relatives. Everyone who sees the hand tinted exposure thinks it’s me. It’s hot. Boys and their Dad’s. We are just special. In the past 10 years on Father’s Day the only thing missing has been my Father. Dad died all those years ago. 10 or so years of Father’s Day socks he has missed. Ten or so years of early morning phone calls asking about the weather or who has died and how the crops are doing. It’s a bit easier each new Father’s Day. It’s just not been any simpler.
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For all those concerned. I am not a transvetite terrorist not have any wish to be either.
ReplyDeleteNeil I love your blog! I can't find you on Facebook though! Sebastian H. Nejat :)
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